April 15, 2009
too many things been going on.
rumours flying around.
atlas, im still here.
heartbroken. was really looking forward for a new environment.
and people kept telling,
“Well, the most important thing, you still got your job.”
and i wonders, is that really the most important thing?
its a sad sad situation right now.
i dont even know where to begin.
seems my parents’ prayers have answered.
my rezki murah.
and InsyaAllah, kalau rezki murah, i might get to get out of this hell hole.
April 8, 2009
Many months back, I’ve vowed myself to be a more observant blogger. I don’t want to blog about my emotions all the time. I want to be more meticulous on my blogging with more interesting stories to tell, mainly about my observations.
It might be difficult for me to describe what I observed. Contrary to my bookworm nature, my vocabulary can be pretty limited. Blame it on my very short memory span. Hehe.. But I will not prevail. The choleric in me believe that I’m a fighter. I’ve always been except that I’m lazy.
I’ve long known that I can do whatever and whenever I want. The thing is, the phlegmatic in me has been quite strong. I procrastinate a lot. It kept holding me back. There is too many things to do! And sadly, I did nothing.
As I am typing this down, I’ve had ideas of what I’m going to do, but implementing it, might take awhile. First thing on my list, is to narrow down on what I really want to do with my life.
Life, literally and the profession that I might choose.
I’ve long known that deskbound job is not my ‘cuppa tea’. I have super short attention span and most of the time, i’m distracted, making me unproductive. I need to be on the move although I might appear to be too lazy to move (but I’m changing that deadly sin).
So, what is it that I would really want to do?
If I were to answer the above question honestly, all I want to do is to have tones of adventures. I fancy being in the wild, explore the vast of the forest, climbing mountains, just being with the nature, in the nature, within nature. All of which, I have yet to do. Although I might have a small problem, going to the toilet might be difficult for me. I’m not that fussy, not all the time, but when it comes to really huge business, I need my hose and tap water. Toilet papers doesn’t work for me.
When I bring myself back to reality, all those mentioned above, needs money in order to have that dream to come true. And for that money, I have to work. Now, working is not that difficult. But finding the one that fits me perfectly, that’s a whole different story.
Document controlling, was lucrative. But I find it totally boring. And the hundreds of papers I’m dealing with gave me panic attacks and large amount of stress. Document controlling are not just about filing ok. Its controlling papers! And papers are my ultimate weakness! Who remembers me filing in school? I lost heaps of them!!
2009 has been a difficult year thus far. Financially, I’m still coping very well, but emotionally, I’m lost. I’m lost with all this clutters. I’m still searching. I don’t want to drag myself to work forever. I need to find my niche.
It’ll be for awhile. I’m sure I’d find what I want eventually. I’m searching. Hard. Very very hard. And this time, I’ll make sure. I promise myself, I’ll pray to HIM, that I’ll truly find what I really really want. 2009 will end great, with me striving for what I believe.
Three cheers for Aisha!!
October 14, 2008
September 28, 2008
i am no kay-poh, but i do like to read blogs belonging to the friends of my sister’s, just so to know what teenagers nowadays are doing, so that i can keep in touch with their trend, so that we will always have something to talk about and at least, i know whats going on around her.
i dont want to be the katak-bawah-tempurung kinda sister.
i like to see their different interpretations of a certain issues. most of the time, them being the closest of friends, have the same opinion. but i like to see how they put it down in words. some are extreme and some are laid back.
so recently, theres this uproar about some muslim students eating in their school tuckshop(long time no use this words, hor!) during this Ramadhan month. and of course, it triggers the ‘talking’ among other students.
i think my sister did blogged about it, but just a very vague one. she express her displeasure over the situation and stop at that.
some of her other friends, however, decides to pour their hearts out. and creates a big commotion.
of course, some are not happy about it and decides to flood her chatbox, trying to defend oneself. i’m quite surprise that her older sister tampil ke hadapan to defend her too.
if it was my sister who ate in the canteen, in front of other people, during Ramadhan, and someone blogged about her, i’d laugh at her. i’d say ‘Padan Muka.’
i’m no meanie. and i love her very much (and i will defend her rights if i see its right. kalau tidak, sampai bila aku nak defend dia jer?). but hey, every action has its consequences. and if my sister chose to eat(in public during Ramadhan), then she has to accept that people will talk about her. because thats life. people will always talk. no matter where you are. in school, at work, at home, family gathering, everywhere. its her decision, good or bad, she has to accept it. i, as her sister, is responsible for advising her and encourage her to do the right thing. but in the end, its her own decisions. besides, if you really have a good reason to consume food infront of all those people, then, you wouldnt have to try so hard to convince them that you have to eat. ‘biar orang mengata, asalkan kita tahu kita benar‘. you know, like the theory, when a person explained too much, they’re lying.
and remember Atek, every action has its consequences. so, if you study smart, you’ll do well in your o’ level and i believe you will. i pray that you’ll have ketenangan and confidence to answer every single questions for your papers. (side track sekejap, haha.)
eh wait, this post is not meant to point fingers to anyone in particular but just my opinion in the matter.
everywhere we are on mother earth, we are actually contestants on ‘Survivor’. we are a team initially but at the end of the day, everyone is on his own. and only the strong will survive. one way, or another.
August 31, 2008
the think about guys in uniform, or rather your guy in uniform is, you cant stay angry with them for long. or maybe if you’ve seen him for the first time in his ARMY uniform, in person, at your doorstep.
I’m SWOONED!!!
FAZLI IS TOTALLY HOTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!
(insert images of him here in my mind)
i was a lil not too happy with him at first, but when i saw him, i melted. anger all gone!!
arghhhhhhhh!!!
k, i better get this over with cause tomorrow we will start fasting and i dont want my fast to go to waste.
adios!!
